Raising A Special Needs Child

Everyone has a "that day." Some have more than one. The one where your life changes forever. I remember my mine clearly. I was in the doctors office getting ready to hear my baby's heart beat. Instead of the whump whump sound I heard silence. My doctor sent me for an ultrasound. The technician poured the Vaseline goop on my belly and went in search of my baby. After a minute she says,"Here's baby number one and over here is baby number two."

After the initial shock that I was having twins I asked if both babies were healthy. Again I heard the silence. She, as a technician, wasn't qualified to answer but would print out the pictures for me to go over with my doctor. Once in his office he informed me that there were some abnormalities. Of course I was not to worry, these things usually turn out to be nothing. He set up an appointment with a specialist and shuttled me out of the office.

What was supposed to be a time of joy turned to uncertainty. I was thrilled to be having twins but worried that something was wrong. I went home and told my husband everything. He was very reassuring and said until we knew what was going on I shouldn't jump to conclusions. For the next two weeks I acted like everything was perfect.

The day of my appointment with the specialist came faster than I thought. My husband, mom and I sat in that room while another technician did another ultrasound. When he was finished we waited while the specialist looked over my file and the pictures. When she came in I knew something was wrong just by the look on her face.

She informed us one of our babies had a condition called Spina Bifida. Our child would never be "normal." She would never be able to do things on her own and would be a vegetable. It was in our best interest to have a selective abortion but this might put our other child in danger.

Both my mom and husband had to restrain me from attacking this so called doctor.
I was furious. Who had appointed her God? Who was she to say what was normal? She wanted me to kill both my children. Needless to say I did not abort my child and I never saw that doctor again.

We devoured every book on Spina Bifida and researched it on the Internet. There were very severe cases but also very mild ones as well. Our family was very supportive. Still I was very scared. Once you hear the news your families life changes forever. Instead of thinking about sports teams, dance classes and diaper duty we were thinking about medical costs and wheelchairs.

Our twins are almost 7 now. Our daughter is beautiful and smart. She goes to regular school. She doesn't play soccer and she's not in dance classes. She uses a hot pink wheelchair to get around. She loves riding horses and dancing in or out of her chair. She might not be "normal" but was it normal. She's my child, she's perfect and I couldn't ask for more.