In high school I had a group of 5 really close friends. We went everywhere together on weekends. Talked for hours on the phone. Their houses were my home away from home. After high school we all stayed in our home town. We still talked and got together on weekends just not as often.
When I got married, they were all in the bridal party. When I had kids they came over to visit. Some of them even babysit for us. A couple years ago one of them got married and moved to Austria. The four of us left, get together every month for Girls Night. We alternate each others houses and drink a couple glasses of wine.
Of the four of us two are married and two are single. We talk about the things going on in our lives, whether it be spouses, kids, work or pets. This is where things get tricky. One of my friends sits there the whole time and listens to everything we have to say but rarely talks about her life.
She says she lives a boring life and that nothing ever happens. She's not dating anyone, doesn't have kids and has no pets. We try to bring her into the conversation but even then she's still reserved. When we get together without the others, it's like pulling teeth.
I just don't understand how we can go from being so close and telling each other everything to this. No one leads that dull of a life that they never have anything to talk about. Her job alone could lead to hours of discussion. Whatever the issue I miss my friend.
3 comments:
Sounds like there are few possible scenarios.
I'm just pulling things out from my personal experience and is completely possible, even likely that it has nothing remotely to do with shy she is that way.
1. She leads a lifestyle that she feels or has previously heard, the rest of you would really disagree with.
2. You lead a lifestyle that she really disagrees with but loves you as a friend so she chooses to remain quiet.
3. She may be depressed and "hates" her life so instead chooses to live vicariously through all of yours.
Does she search you guys out? Or do you have to force her to meet you other friends? If she voluntarily joins you then I say you keep her as a friend. She may just be going through some difficult times that she chooses to keep private.
She once mentioned that her family thought she was gay because she doesn't introduce her boyfriends to them. But I told her to screw them, we would still love her anyway. I honestly don't see that as a possibility.
As for me, besides my family, my life is pretty dull.
She voluntarily joins us. It just feels like something is up and I wish she would trust us enough to let us in on what's going on.
Hi there, just came across your blog and found it quite interesting. Nice background! :)
Being childless myself and not married either (do have a boyfriend though) I think I might understand the situation your friend sees herself in. My married with children friends lead a completely different life to mine. And I'm not saying I'm a party animal but they have different responsibilities now, that I cannot relate to as I haven't lived them myself yet. What does your friend like doing? Movies, theatre? Ice-skating? Maybe next time take her out, make her laugh, tell her that you miss her.
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